Are You Stressed or Savoring?

Hey Friend!

Have you ever noticed those runaway truck ramps veering off the side of a freeway or highway on a steep decline? An amazingly simple solution to the inevitable problem that results when you combine an 80,000-pound load with a steep decline: failing brakes. The added friction from the gravel and the incline can allow a truck driver to safely recover control of her/his vehicle.

Why am I talking about runaway truck ramps? Because once I hit November, I always feel like the year is getting away from me! I need a “runaway year ramp” to help me slow down and not crash into the new year! I want to savor, not stress, the last few months of the year. I'm sure we all have a few different tricks up our sleeves to help us slow down the season. Here are the ones that have worked best for me:

1. Make your seasonal bucket list.

Make a list of all the activities you'd like to do, people you'd like to visit, and the places you'd like to go. Then hack, cut, and trim the list until it reveals what really matters the most to you. Oddly enough, this is how I discovered one of my favorite fall activities: tracking down great firewood, making an afternoon out of picking it up and unloading it with my wife and grandson. And then offering some to neighbors and friends.

2. Connect.

Now that you have your seasonal bucket list with a few names of cherished individuals with whom you want to connect or re-connect, how will you do so? There can be a lot of pressure, competition, and sheer volume during big family dinners and elaborate gatherings that make it difficult to connect with all or even some of the guests (as I've witnessed when my multigenerational family of seven adults and one child gathers in the same home). So why not opt for a series of more intimate gatherings, such as a leisurely coffee date with a friend or a tranquil walk with a small circle of loved ones over the next few months? These are the memories that tend to reside closest to my heart: meetups with one or two of my family members at a time. (This time of year, I highly recommend the hiking trails near Whitney and Elsmere canyons. The leaves are changing colors, and the poison oak is easy to spot!)

Some in our community have a smaller circle of friends and family than others due to varying circumstances: age, an empty nest, a recent move. In such situations, rather than re-connecting with loved ones, we can focus on making new and deeper connections. Consider the acquaintances, neighbors, or colleagues that you would like to upgrade to “friend.” Look into local events (including opportunities to volunteer), clubs, or online communities to build friendships. It's about quality, not quantity. For the sake of mental health, a few deep, meaningful relationships are far more valuable than many surface ones.

For more help caring for your or a friend's mental health, check out this resource from Mental Health America. To receive help in a crisis, you may call or text 988 anytime.

3. Leave room for spontaneity.

Though a busy season demands making plans to ensure you accomplish the things that are important to you, don't forget the joy of spontaneity. When a good friend calls you out of the blue with last-minute tickets to a game, a play, or a concert—go! An old friend wants to meet for dinner at the spur of a moment? Go! We've all heard about the precarious plans of mice and men. Sometimes the greatest joys are the least scheduled.

Whether we enjoy the oddly warm SoCal autumns or dream of cooler weather, whether we're eager for the new year or we're squeezing out as much of 2023 as possible, autumn of 2023 is here and halfway over! Let's savor the remaining weeks.